Journey to the Place in the Heart - A Teacher's View
When managing behaviour problems in students the five Human Values of Love, Peace, Truth, Right Action and Non-violence are powerful tools for positive change and character transformation.
When I first began teaching at Toogoolawa School, I realised that the students had pretty much seen and heard it all before. They knew most of the tricks in the book and were very quick to point out hypocrisy and double standards.
They were also with us because nothing had effected lasting positive change within them to date. Generally speaking, their home lives were burdened with fear, struggle and hostility which they brought with them to school.
The behaviour of the young men was typically fraught with fear, deceit, unrest, wrong-doing and violence. The Human Values we introduced them to were just the opposite - Love, Peace, Truth, Right Action and Non- violence. The Human Values offered a whole new world to them - one where they could relax and feel safe and wanted.
Some new students take to the Values like a fish to water but on the whole, we tend to initially encounter a fair bit of resistance. This is understandable when you think about the students' life experiences, the methods they use to cope and how they've been taught to view the world. It is very scary for them to show love, let alone receive it. And it's terrifying for them to tell the truth, close their eyes and sit still, and not regard violence as a solution to injustice. I don't know how any one can feel anything but compassion for these kids - even when they are at their worst behaviourally.
Before talking about specific Human Values, I want to make mention that, for me, the Values are very much interdependent. For example, with Love comes Non-violence and therefore Right Action. To tell the truth is to experience Peace. And Peace is Love. So when I talk about how I put a Value into practice, I am in essence talking about all the Human Values.
When managing behavioural problems in students, the Human Values of Love, Peace and Right Action are from my perspective the easiest to implement and the quickest to bear results. If you genuinely show another person love, whether it's in thoughts, words or actions, they will respond positively. The response may be small for you, but in terms of a young man with behaviour problems, it is a major breakthrough. Sometimes that is all I get. Small responses. But if you persevere, those small steps add up.
The Human Value of Love encompasses everything for me in my work with our students. It determines the direction of my thoughts, my choice of words, and the way I interact. It means that my regard for each student is driven by compassion and empowerment. I want the best for them and I want them to bring out the best in themselves. Love is also the easiest Value to incorporate into schoolwork. The students have no problems writing and reading positive, loving words and literature, or creating artwork that has Love as its theme. They work happily, as the mood is uplifting and peaceful.
The young men I work with very much respond to Peace. They find it awkward and confronting yet like it at the same time. Our school is located in a very peaceful setting and we practise Peace throughout the day whether it be during the more formal Quiet Time sessions, working in the classroom or during play. In order for them to practise Peace it's vital for all the adults at school to role model Peace. We will never teach them Peace if we aren't peaceful ourselves. This is done through the way we conduct ourselves, the tone of our voice, the display of patience and acceptance, and teaching alternative communication strategies. Teaching the Value of Peace for me is also about recognizing positive initiatives from the boys and reinforcing displays of Peace no matter how small. Reinforcing in fact, any positive changes, so that they begin to replace their old methods with far more beneficial ones. The Human Value of Peace, like Love, is easy to bring into their school work. Themes of Peace can affect any subject matter and be received well.
The Human Value of Right Action or Right Conduct is like Peace and Love, an easy Value for me to guide the students to practise. I work from the premise that everyone knows the difference between right and wrong because our conscience tells us. For this reason I ask the students to choose their words and actions well because for every positive action there is a corresponding positive consequence and the same for negative actions. This helps them to begin thinking about choices a bit more and thinking about where choices will lead them. It also helps them to begin taking responsibility for all they think, say and do and whilst this is challenging for them, we see big breakthroughs.
Right Conduct can be used as a theme for schoolwork and like all the Values it is also a powerful guide for behaviour. The young men I work with are asked to judge each action as appropriate or inappropriate and how they wish to rectify wrongdoings. We can guide and supervise, but they are the ones urged to make the changes for themselves based on their own needs. This takes away some pressure and the boys gain a sense of control over themselves.
One recurring issue we have is the allocation of blame. This is born of many things including ignorance, a fear of taking responsibility and even being seen as 'bad' because this reinforces what many of them have been labeled all their lives. For many, their self-esteem is very poor resulting in degrees of self loathing or a belief that they really do posses all the negative traits that they have been called. Even when they wind me up, my overriding feeling and motivation is compassion and empowerment.
Due to the reasons I have just mentioned as well as many others, the students I work with find the Human Value of Truth to be very confronting and scary. For this reason, the Human Value of Truth and the Human Value of Non-violence are in my experience the two trickier Values to see breakthroughs with. Nevertheless, breakthroughs do happen and they are truly transformational. Developing truthfulness takes bravery and self-reflection. It takes honesty and faith that all will be ok. Its practice also brings forth all the five Human Values.
I encourage Truth in the students in varying ways depending on the student and the issue. As it is a difficult Value to bring forth in students with behaviour problems, a sense of truth is vital to my relationship with them. Sometimes Ian is the better person to encourage truth in certain students, sometimes I am. It's a sensitive area and definitely takes time. Students don't jump from avoidance, and deceit to truth overnight. Sometimes if I can see a light flickering within, which indicates that something is clicking over, I will leave it at that. In our teaching of Truth, emotions can run high and we need to be prepared for anything. Nevertheless, as we continue to role model Truth and ask it of our students we do see changes in all of them.
We integrate Truth into the schoolwork with a bit of thought and creativity. It also governs individual and group behaviour and the boys can frequently identify where the other Human Values come into play as far as the Value of Truth is concerned. They see the connection.
The final Human Value of Non-violence is the other value I address a lot as violent words and actions realistically dominate most days. The boys rarely have all-out blues, but they swear a lot to the point of being quite crude, and get into tumbles with each other and themselves. We also have to watch food allergies and medication absence for their presence typically leads to high emotions and inappropriate actions. We see acts of violence every day and the boys struggle with the notion that violence is not the solution. Communication sessions where the boys are shown how to practise new skills help to offer alternatives. Most of the young men who join us have literacy issues. Some can barely read and write at all. Verbal communication is fair and vocabulary limited. Physical violence occurs frequently in some of the homes and fighting can be the norm. For these reasons and many more, it can prove challenging to teach the Value of Non-violence.
Changes are small but so significant to monitor and reinforce. It's very possible to instill a sense of Non-violence in students with behaviour problems. I have experienced it many times over and it is so worthwhile, given patience and perseverance. It's good to also point out the connection between the other Human Values and Non-violence. When the boys are quiet and being calm I will ask them to tell me how it feels. They like it and I will then ask them to reflect on the Human Values and which ones are present. They recognise that once you practise one Human Value you are practising them all.
In my position Non Violence requires firmness most definitely because the reality is we are dealing with very active, quite streetwise teenage boys. But with firmness is a gentle tone that encourages calmness and gentility. Acts of violence result in student self-reflection which sometimes takes the form of an essay or a chat. Students are asked to take responsibility for their actions and see the connection between their actions and the altercation with the other person. This is successful and while fights and swearing continue, they are never, ever, what they were yesterday. Teaching empathy and compassion is vital to this process. Thinking beyond oneself and about the feelings of the other helps the boys to develop a sense of regret and apologies result. This is great change for a difficult behaviour.
I have been with Toogoolawa for five years now. I have seen about 70 students come and go and have first hand experience with that it is to teach the five Human Values and their effectiveness. Once I had grasped them for myself, within myself and my life, my confidence in teaching them soared. They are straightforward and as far as difficult behaviour is concerned they are all encompassing. In my work they provide me with strong support and the boys are very clear on where the boundaries lie. The Values also stand for things we all wish for our lives and the lives of others. All the kids I have worked with respond well to this as deep down it is what they want even though it is too early or too scary to admit. We have seen some amazing breakthroughs with young men supposedly at the end of the line. This is so encouraging and the skill you learn with the Human Values' impact on your whole life and the way you view human behaviour. |
